Book reviews inspiration

Book review: The Happiness Project

I have always been a book worm. When I was younger, I would raise my hand in class and wave it around violently until the teacher chose me to read outloud. My parents used to cram my Christmas stocking full of books and I could hardly for the next day to break them open. At 8 years old, I had hid a flashlight under my bed along with a stack of books and I’d hide under my covers and read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open at night. My favorite days in elementry school were the “Read-a-thon” days that we had twice a year as the teachers prepared for Parent/Teacher conferences. We were allowed to bring a blanket and a book and we were to sit quietly and read all day. I was the dorko that didn’t bring a book; instead I brought 12. I also loved book reports. If the teacher said to write a one page book report, you can guarantee mine was about five pages long, not because I was trying to show off, but because I genuinely loved doing them so much!
This reading obsession of mine continues to this day. Most of what I read now are advice books, memoirs, or “how to” books. (Okay, okay, and obscene amounts of fashion magazines. Ohhhhh pretty pictures!)

Ahhh the power of a book! About two years ago, I read the wonderful book “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert when I was going through a very difficult time and it changed the course of my life! I remember exactly where I was in the book, standing over the kitchen sink, hysterically bawling when I finally realized exactly what needed to change and what was about to happen in my life.
When I was traveling about 6 months ago, I was browsing the airport for something to read and saw a book called, “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. The book immediately caught my eye because I love projects (there is that inner dork again) and anything that could possibly evoke more happiness. I read this book (twice) and fell madly in love with it. I bought it for all of my sisters for Christmas and will talk about it to anybody that will listen. Of course I want to recommend it to you and I also want to share what I personally took away from the book and how I’m applying it to my life. Without further adieu, my first book report, Jen-style:

Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, is not some know-it-all, self-help guru. She is a devoted wife and a mother to two little girls, living what seems to be a pretty common life. One day she started to ponder her current level of happiness. She was already happy…but what could she do to be even happier? Over the course of an entire year Gretchen chronicles her Happiness Project, which entails her different goals and resolutions each month in attempt to boost her happiness to an all-time high. Her journey is a very transparent one in which she openly admits to her very common faults, such as snapping at her husband and yelling at her kids, which makes for a very relateable, and humorous, read.

My favorite take-aways from this book, along with how it applies to me:

1. Different things make different people happy. 
I lived in Vegas for over 6 years. I was a VIP cocktail server in one of the hottest clubs, lived with 3 of my best girlfriends and partied like a maniac for years. Now my favorite way to spend a Friday night is getting in a killer training session, making a huge pile of healthy food, and curling up on the couch in my pajamas with my husband and doggies to watch the Dateline Murder Mystery. When people would ask me, “So what did you do last night?” I’d tell them and feel a bit ashamed, as if I should have been doing something much cooler or more fun. Why? My idea of fun to me is the only thing that matters! Nobody’s happiness is superior to yours. Do what makes you happy!

2. Do the little things.
Every time I get in the bathtub, I gripe about not having a new magazine to read. Every time I go train, I am bummed when I turn my iPod on and have the same ol’ music on there because I never seem to get around to updating it. Every morning I try to talk myself out of going to the local coffee shop on my way to work … either I don’t go and then I’m pissed because I wanted coffee, or I do go and I feel guilty that I went and bought coffee. Why are these little things tormenting me? If my buying a coffee for $1.50 every morning makes me happy and kicks my day off with a bang, then so be it! I resolve to buy a few magazines, get coffee when I please and update my iPod more frequently to make my training more enjoyable. These are just examples of a long list of little things that I’m changing. I also tend to be a last minute purchaser of items that I know I will need – toothpaste, body wash, tissues, etc, and I always let myself run completely out before I buy more, which is not only annoying, but inconvenient. I was actually forced to wash my body with shaving cream 3 weeks ago due to my running out of soap but that is a story for another time (or never). Therefore, I now resolve to have a plentiful stock of the bare necessities sitting in inventory, aka, our laundry room.

3.  “Days are long but the years are short.”
This is a direct quote from the book and she uses it frequently, and it’s so true! I always see people moaning and groaning about how “the day is dragging”. Today is the only shot you have at today. You’ll never see today again, ever! Stop wishing time away. The last 7 years of my life have absolutely flown by. I do not, by any means, want time to go any faster! There will surely come a day for all of us that we only wished we had more time and that the days would have gone slower. Make the most of it and enjoy every last second.

4. “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”
Guilty as charged! I regret to inform you that I am a perfectionist and I’m not proud of it. I want everything to be perfect and is there really such a thing? Every time something in my life gets better, I immediately want it to be even better.  It’s one thing to push yourself to new levels, but it’s another entirely to be so focused on striving for perfection that you cease to see all of the amazing progress you’ve made! Reading this book, along with a brutally honest email from my nutrition coach a few months back, made me realize this and I really had to reevaluate the way I think about a lot of things.

5. The four phases of happiness.
There are four phases to happiness: anticipation of the moment, savoring the moment, expressing happiness during the moment, and then recalling the happy memory of the moment after the fact. Lets use Christmas for example. I love Christmas. I start playing Christmas music around Thanksgiving. I love to look at the decorations, think Christmas-y thoughts, shop and eat Christmas cookies. The anticipation of Christmas in and of itself makes me very happy. Savoring Christmas is taking the time during the hectic day itself to enjoy every last droplet, rather than rushing around and refilling everybody’s eggnog. Expressing happiness is pretty self explanatory. Standing on the couch and screaming, “I LOVE CHRISTMAS!” will suffice. Then you take a ton of pictures and video and a few months later you recall Christmas and it makes you happy all over again. This is the whole gamut of Christmas happiness… at least for me. The lesson here is to let yourself enjoy things that make you happy, from the preparation and the anticipation, all the way to recalling the fond memory.

6. Show proofs of love.
I’ve always been a bit of a hard ass. My parents said I was a little turd when I was younger and refused to be held or snuggled. That continues to this day. I’ve never been good at being vulnerable and it’s hard for me to really let my guard down to tell people that I love them. Throughout the years though, I’ve realized that just because it’s hard for me to tell people or show them that I love them doesn’t mean that they don’t need to hear it and see/feel it. The Happiness Project was an excellent reminder of this when Gretchen said, “Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only in my actions.”

If I were to list everything I got out of this book I’d end up paraphrasing all 294 pages, but these are just a few of the highlights for me. Please read this book. It’s really that good!

“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make others happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself!” 

3 Comments

  • Reply
    Gretchen Rubin
    January 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    I'm so happy to hear that my work resonates with you! Good luck with YOUR happiness project! warmly,
    Gretchen Rubin

  • Reply
    Naomi(Onefitfoodie)
    January 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    I have heard great things about this book and so happy you had a positive review!

    I love what you said about the little things…this is so incredibly true! have a great weekend!!xxoo

  • Reply
    Chris
    January 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I enjoy reading your Blog.. I definitely want to read more in 2012 (expand my horizons), this book might just have to be the start of that. Thank you!!

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