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When is it ever enough?

I have an embarrassing confession to make but let me preface this story by saying I am not proud of myself.

Simply put, I lost my mind last week.  

A cataclysmic meltdown, if you will, over something as silly and trivial as my measurements. Let me back up and explain.  I’ve been working diligently and successfully with a phenomenal nutrition coach to enhance my health, decrease bodyfat, increase muscle mass, keep myself accountable, and improve my strength.  Everything has been sailing along smoothly until last week when all [emotional] hell broke loose.
Every other Friday morning means it’s time for me to take skinfolds and measurements (we don’t use the scale to track progress and haven’t in about 4 months) and send them off to The Boss.  My skinfolds have, to my delight, been steadily decreasing and this past Friday they had decreased again. Great right? Right! But ::dramatic pause:: two of my girth measurements have slightly increased. Seeing this threw me into a livid rage of fury*.  What? I thought. Increased?? Impossible!

Time out. Let’s review the playback tapes, shall we?

In the last 6 months, all of my lifts have wildly increased. I’ve hit huge PRs; a bench of 155, a deadlift of 315, and multiple sets of unassisted chin-ups. Could this small girth increase be… oh, I dunno – MUSCLE gain perhaps? After all, I strength train like a banshee 4 times per week and make it very known how much I love high volume training routines.

Remedial training 101:

Heavy weights + high volume + proper nutrition & consistency = hypertrophy

On top of decreased bodyfat and increased strength, last month’s blood panel report received a gold star and a pat on the back from my functional doctor. I’ve gotten leaner, stronger, and healthier, but because two of my tape measurements have increased a bit, which is undoubtedly the glorious bi-product of hard work, I’m going to discount all of the collective progress I’ve made?!

You better check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.

Seeking change in body composition is often much more taxing mentally than it is physically. There are more ups and downs than the wildest rollercoaster and things don’t often go exactly as we want it to. I, along with my coach and my husband, had to remind myself of the following things, and I feel that it’s important I share them with you in case you need reminding, too!

  • First off, I don’t need to lose bodyfat; rather I choose to lose bodyfat because I like the esthetic of a very lean and muscular body. Losing bodyfat when you don’t necessarily need to (or hell, even when you do need to) is a bitch, especially scraping off the last little bits. 
  • While I want to be stronger without gaining an ounce of muscle, this is not likely. While I don’t think I’ll transform into the Hulk before your own eyes, a little bit of hypertrophy here or there shouldn’t be this surprising, especially given the way I train. Would I rather gain a bit of muscle after I lose a bit more bodyfat? Well, sure! But unfortunately our bodies don’t necessarily keep track of stuff like that and while you can guide it, it’s going to do what it wants to do to a degree.
  • Carter said something to me that really stuck with me. You have to take pride in and feel fully rewarded by the sense that you’re doing everything you can to reach your stated goal – the means need also be appreciated as a worthy end with any actual change being a bonus.” Basically, I need to find peace in the fact that I’m doing my absolute best to get to where I want to be, and take pride in my hard work.
  • Every body is different. Just because some of my friend’s can eat Lara Bars and ice cream and stay lean does not, by any stretch of the imagination, mean that I can do the same. Different measures must be taken for different people to reach similar goals. I struggled with this for a bit, but have relinquished to the fact that what I’m doing works for me, and I need to trust the process. If that means packing tupperwares around and eating my 3 meals per day instead of some people’s 5x/day or 1x/day for the Intermittent Fasters, then so be it!
  • And last, but certainly not least, I need to celebrate my success so far. Celebrate the fact that I’m stronger, happier, and leaner. Celebrate the fact that I’m blessed with good health and a lifestyle that I relish. Celebrate that I have the opportunity to work with an amazing coach and train at a wonderful gym. Celebrate the fact that I’m a part of an amazing group of women that is paving the way for a stronger future for women. Celebrate the fact that I have wonderful clients that are all making amazing progress, and celebrate the fact that I get to be a role model.

 Puts it into perspective, doesn’t it? It sure did for me!

Have you had to put yourself in check while trying to reach your goals?
What things do you do to keep things in perspective when the going gets tough mentally?

Drop me a line below!

The deadlift PR: 315

 

The bench PR: 155

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